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The Fly Usually Dies

Most days I feel alone. No one cares if something were to happen to me. I would be a blip in their storyline. I really wish I could just disappear from my life on most days. When no one cares if you wake up that day or not, why should it matter. There are days that waking up, I really wish that I hadn’t. I look forward to the days that I feel loved and scared for. I want to feel appreciated. Is there anyone in the world that thinks that I matter. Or am I just here to take care of everyone else? 

My reality of life seems to be slowly dying with every passing days. Some times I wonder if I am just the annoying fly that is buzzing around bugging others. I’ve come to terms with the fact that no one will care for me as much as I care for others. I am the person that people call when they need something. People don’t usually pick up when I call them. It usually takes the third phone call or more to finally get someone to pick up the phone. Then I start to think what is wrong with me?

What did I do? Why am I not worth the time to others? Quaratine has been so hard on me. Mainly because I feel like I have no escape. I am in this apartment all the time all day long and all I wish to do is be in the sun. This life has sent me down a path that I am not a fan of.

Do I need saving? No. Not really. There is nothing to save me from. All I am is the house wife that does everything wrong. I really do mean everything. I don’t know the last time that I did something right. What I know is that life has got to be better than what I have right now.

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